Final Blog

This course was interesting to me, as I love Women's Studies classes! There were quite a few topics that I really liked learning about, especially about human trafficking. It is so astounding that this happens here, in our country in this day. Right before we began studying that section, I had actually watched an episode of Escaped. In the show, a girl from Russia was telling a story about being lured to the United States and then forced to work as a stripper in Detroit. She would work from 11a until 2a, then her captor would drive her to an apartment where she lived among other residents. She was terrified and no one even suspected. It ended up with her escaping but I was shocked by it. Then we start the chapter on human trafficking and how many women are used for this purpose. I just cannot believe this happens but it makes me view women in a different way. It made me realize there are stories behind women's lives that we do not always know.

Another important chapter was on the rape subject. It never really dawned on me how many women, including myself view sex as our duty. Even when we kid around about it, it is not a joke. I have friends who talk about not being in the mood but "having to" and I do the same thing. It is something that has been instilled within our souls through society.

Virtual Harassment

A few years back, I joined MySpace and set up a page. I really thought it was fun to keep in touch, post graphics, and find old friends. One day I added a guy that lived in my city and I thought he was someone I had known from school. Turns out, I didn't know him at all. At first he acted nice, saying he was just meeting new people on here, he worked a lot so did not go out very much, etc. This guy was always on the site, always! Every time I logged on, I would immediately receive a message from him. I had posted some pics (normal, tasteful photos) and he commented on them all saying "Marry me!", "I am in love", and other obnoxious sayings. I quit responding to him after this and he finally sent me an email that said "Obviously I have done something to make you mad, although I don't know what. I am not going to play these games with you so I am deleting you. It is better this way than dragging this out. You have not responded to me and maybe we will meet in another life". YUCK!! I felt so enraged and disgusted by his email. Initially, I wanted to respond back with something not so nice but thought that would only make the situation worse so I blocked him from my page.

After that I went to his page and he actually had written a blog about me. This blog said all kinds of stuff about how I was so arrogant and couldn't even speak to him. It went on to include all of his psycho whining and badmouthing me. I turned him into the Myspace but I doubt they did anything and I really could care less. He has serious problems to be that way over someone he does not even know. Well, the scariest part is that I went to Wal Mart one day and he was there shopping! I recognized him without a doubt, it was him. I just acted like I didn't see him but felt really sick about it. I wasn't too worried though because my 6'4", 310 lb husband was in the car......................

The internet is a scary place. Especially with people being able to find out your personal information online. Women and children are in such danger because of the predators lurking in the world. It is becoming more common to hear about kids and women running away to meet someone they met online. I believe that the majority of people are trusting and really don't realize that the person they "know" may not be that person at all. Use of the internet is monitored at my house with my daughter and we make sure to keep all personal information off the computer.

Seeing the Effects of Meth

Soon after high school, I had a very close friend that used meth regularly and hid it from everyone. She was smoking meth on a daily basis at one point and I would have never guessed it. Somehow, my friend managed to hide it from our circle of friends. I believe when it got to the point where we would have recognized the signs, she had isolated herself from us and was smoking all the time. I am very surprised by the profile of a meth user but she fit the profile. When I visualize meth, I see someone with no education, no money, and a dysfunctional past. My friend was not what I pictured since she was a middle class, high school graduate who worked as a nanny and had college educated parents. Although her risk was increased since her mother had abused drugs at one time and her parents divorced when she was very young.

This friend just stopped one day and admitted to me that she had been doing it, which I had heard that she was doing "speed or something" from an acquaintance but I did not really believe it was that bad. About a week ago, she finally told me how deep she was into the drug and how she hid it from everyone including me. I was surprised because, up until that day, I hadn't realized how severe her problem had been and how much strength it took her to just quit cold turkey. The only sign I could look back and say that she had was oily skin. I even remember the acquaintance talking about her oily skin and hair. The main sign of a meth user I thought was meth mouth, which she probably did not do it long enough to get I guess (or was just lucky).

Of course she is very successful now with a husband and a great job. She told me that she hasn't done any drugs in 8 years and would never touch the stuff again. I find it weird that she was able to hide it so well and was able to just quit one day. After all the research on meth I have done, I believe that she is a very rare case.

Our future

I wish that we could all see
The hardship building gradually
For ourselves and our children
Then maybe change would happen

If we could all live for the future, I believe life woud be better. For so long, our ancestors did not realize or have the knowledge to foresee our future. Now that we are living with their mistakes, we have the ability to change the world for the better for those after us. Unfortunately, life is often too hectic for us to stop, think, and act the way required to make a positive, lasting impact for future generations.

I do believe huamnkind has made many positive adavncements but there are many negative choices we continue to make. The biggest issue I discuss over and over is the hurriedness of life, the financial burdens, and those other pitfalls that we let keep us from taking huge steps toward bettering the future!

Food ideas

As a child, my attitude toward food may have been unhealthy. I believe that food was used as a comfort by my family at times, especially my mother. When she had trouble sleeping or was feeling bored, she would make fried potatoes or zuccini. I remember late at night my mother firing up the fryer and making us snacks. Until reading the blog assignment, I NEVER even thought about the effect this had on me and my mother. My father always lifted weights and tried to gain weight as he was thin. He could eat whatever he wanted and it did not affect him at all. Even up to this point, my dad has never had any extra weight at all. For breakfast, he has a king size Hershey bar and a Dr. Pepper. This has been his routine for over twenty years.

As a child, I was always extremely skinny. I actually was so self conscious and hated it(crazy!!), even as a teen I never weighed more than 105 lbs. I always ate whatever I wanted with my parents. I believe that my mother taught me to use food as a comfort tool. Even now, when I feel bored or depressed my thoughts turn to food. My ex husband and even my current husband both have also used food as a form of entertainment.

I believe so many people have this problem. So many times, I try to view food as way to survive rather than an indulgence. It is very difficult because often there is nothing to do except to eat. I know proper nutrtion but when it coems to following it, I have such a hard time.

Aging Gracefully

The river of life that flowed
Slowly trickled away from me
All the ability I have known
Has now been stolen from me.

Menopause is seen as an end in society. When I think of it, I feel scared and know that I will have some grief when this time hits. First, menopause should not be referred to as "the change". In life, there are so many changes so why would this event get that title. Women have to realize that menopause is a natural process in life to protect life itself. To ensure we can grow with our children and ensure they make it into adulthood. The entire subject should be treated that way. No one should be made to feel it is their fault or something bad. It is a part of life we cannot change. Women shoudl be encouraged, loved, and counseled through the fears and insecurities associated with menopause.

My husband and I wanted to try to have a child. I have one from my first marriage but he has no biological children. After years, I never became pregnant and immediately we thought something was wrong with me. My doctor had talked about early menopause before testing me for anything and my husband's response was this, "Great. This affects me more than you, you already have a kid. How would menopause affect you now?" What a terrible attitude especially when it has turned out to be him with the infertility issues. Now at 32, I do not feel the need to have children but menopause will still scare me because of the way it is presented in society!

Helping a Friend

The idea of suspecting you have an STD is very scary. During my high school years, I did have a friend who confided that she thought she had contracted something. She was afraid and mostly embarassed by the entire experience so she refused to address it. This is an incidence I will never forget because I kept telling her to go to the doctor or tell her mom. She had severe symptoms which she would treat by douching almost daily, an unhealthy habit. I tried to be there for her but the whole situation made me very anxious and unsupportive because she continued having unprotected sex with other guys. I wouldn't desert a friend but I felt what she was doing was very wrong and that behavior is the reason behind such rampant spreading of STDs. We basically quit talking due to her unsafe behavior. Why if you thought you had an STD would you continue having sex with multiple partners? Did she not realize that her promiscuity is what contributed to her having this in the first place? I know she eventually found out years later that she had gonorrhea and I would guess it destroyed her chances of having children; as she has none today that I have heard. I also wonder how many people she infected. Should I have told someone?

Menarche

When I first started my period, my experience was utterly horrible. My parents were divorcing and each was too busy being self absorbed to even acknowledge me. I do not believe that it would have been a positive, celebratory experience regardless of their marriage situation, though. My father always instilled a feeling of shame and guilt within my psyche for being female and especially for growing up. I had no one to answer any questions or help me in any way, other than friends from middle school. To make matters worse, my period was extremely heavy and painful but I felt that I was disgusting and woudl have never asked them any questions. This experience has made me realize how inportant it is to make this open and a positive experience for my own daughter.

Personal Health

Taking excellent care of myself should be one of the most important goals in my life yet I seem to neglect myself. This is very alarming to me considering I already suffer from health issues that could lead to more debilitating disease as I age. What is even worse is that most people I know fail to properly care for themselves just like me! When I stop to think about healthy choices and how they are detrimental for optimal health, I realize they are not difficult to adopt. I could significantly improve my health by losing unhealthy midsection fat through diet and exercise.

So why don't I make this positive change? Why do a majority of people have such a struggle with making positive change? Life is stressful with most of us having overbooked schedules with family, work, school, volunteering and just life in general. I know that I feel like putting other responsibilities first and then I will get around to myself when I have time. That time NEVER seems to come though as each day presents new tasks. I have realized that I need to manage stress, eat a healthy moderate diet, get some sort of exercise EVERY day, and make time for me. Hopefully, I can succeed in doing this and with my success I can help as many others as possible do the same. We have to learn that our health is very important and without good health, nothing else really matters!

concerned...........

The health issues that most concern me are cardiovascular disease and all of the related problems either brought on by this condition or acting as a cause of it. As someone with a strong family history of heart disease and premature death, I am terrified. Three of my four grandparents died before the age of 52 of heart disease related complications. Both my grandmothers were sleeping (one was 52 and the other 49) and never woke up, while my paternal grandfather died from a heart attack at the age of 39. The history is almost unbelievable with my uncles, parents, and brother all suffering from hypertension. One uncle had a heart attack when he was 38 and underwent quadruple bypass. I, too, suffer from hypertension as well as palpitations and obstructive sleep apnea.

The past year, the realization has really hit me. I will follow in my relatives' footsteps if I don't make a change now. The biggest issue I have encountered is a lack of acknowledgement from health care professionals regarding young people, especially women, who have some form of a cardiovascular related condition. I kept going to doctors and the emergency room for my spiking blood pressure but was never put on any type of medication. Practitioners would just write it off as "nervousness" or "being stressed", even after hearing my family history!

Working in the emergency room for a small town hospital, I would see these same attitudes from the staff there. Anyone under 50 years old was almost dismissed and not taken seriously when they came in complaining of heart related ailments including high blood pressure and chest pain.

I questioned a young, Hispanic female what health issues most concerned her and she felt very strongly about diabetes due to her family history. During our conversation, she mentioned that her mother had symptoms of diabetes but hadn't seen a physician for these problems.
My other interviewee was a 54 year old, white female who had hypertension and was most concerned with heart disease and resulting death. She felt that the doctors she had seen did not address her problems thoroughly when mentioned. Yet her husband was sent immediately for various testing at the first complaint of the very same issues. This upset her and she felt that the doctor's office didn't believe or take her complaints as seriously because she was a woman.

Now I can see the correlation between all three of us.......................although we definitely have increased risks, there is some feeling of inadequacy brought on by the very providers responsible for "saving" us. All women I spoke with or about (including myself) felt unsure about bringing their health issues to light. When we have, it has been met with a reluctance to believe we could have a genuine illness; or maybe we feel that response will ensue therefore do not want to look like hypochondriacs or complainers by bringing up the issues. I feel the lack of attention and appropriate testing is complete negligence.