Saturday, June 27, 2009
Menarche
When I first started my period, my experience was utterly horrible. My parents were divorcing and each was too busy being self absorbed to even acknowledge me. I do not believe that it would have been a positive, celebratory experience regardless of their marriage situation, though. My father always instilled a feeling of shame and guilt within my psyche for being female and especially for growing up. I had no one to answer any questions or help me in any way, other than friends from middle school. To make matters worse, my period was extremely heavy and painful but I felt that I was disgusting and woudl have never asked them any questions. This experience has made me realize how inportant it is to make this open and a positive experience for my own daughter.
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I truly understand. I begin my menarche very early, if you were to ask me extremely early. I wasn’t devastated I just hated the fact I would eventually have to tell my mom. I was eleven or twelve with an older brother,ugh and actually begin before all the older girls in my family. I new that I was changing so I decided to educate myself so that I’ll know how to handle my feelings and the pains of being a young woman now. I held off telling my mom for about 6 months until an older cousin got hers and after that it was a ripple effect. I was so happy because it took the embarrassing questions off of me. I look forward to that time for my daughter because I want to be the most comforting, encouraging, and loving mom I can to help her through the entire ordeal. Good luck with your daughter as well.
ReplyDeleteCynthia,
ReplyDeleteGoing through a new life experience at a stressful time in the family must have been distressful if not traumatizing. I am not sure what kind of fears a father woul instil in a daughter (making you feel inferior and worthless?
In my culture up to this date, men generally do not concern themselves with their daughter's transition phases in life (except when you are getting married and they want dowry paid on you!). In my days growing up, discussing sexual and reproductive matters was relagated to grandmothers and older aunties but little was ever said or done to prepare agirl for the onset of menarche. When the time came, you were not to let any one know about, it is a girls secret so boys don't start chasing after you. I never told my mum when my periods started but I mentioned to my older sisters who then gave me some guidance. I took time to discuss with my daughters as a way of preparing them but they had already learned alot in school and fom their friends.