Saturday, July 4, 2009
Helping a Friend
The idea of suspecting you have an STD is very scary. During my high school years, I did have a friend who confided that she thought she had contracted something. She was afraid and mostly embarassed by the entire experience so she refused to address it. This is an incidence I will never forget because I kept telling her to go to the doctor or tell her mom. She had severe symptoms which she would treat by douching almost daily, an unhealthy habit. I tried to be there for her but the whole situation made me very anxious and unsupportive because she continued having unprotected sex with other guys. I wouldn't desert a friend but I felt what she was doing was very wrong and that behavior is the reason behind such rampant spreading of STDs. We basically quit talking due to her unsafe behavior. Why if you thought you had an STD would you continue having sex with multiple partners? Did she not realize that her promiscuity is what contributed to her having this in the first place? I know she eventually found out years later that she had gonorrhea and I would guess it destroyed her chances of having children; as she has none today that I have heard. I also wonder how many people she infected. Should I have told someone?
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
This story is shocking. I know that sometimes it is hard to come to terms with the fact that you might have an STD because of the social stigma. And I have known people who have tried to ignore it for a while in hopes that it will resolve itself, but to ignore it for years and continue to have unprotected sex with different partners is just selfish and ridiculous. This is unbelievable. There are so many options available for treatment from private physicians to public health clinics, and Planned Parenthood clinics. There are places that offer free or inexpensive discrete services. I am saddened to hear that her actions have caused her to be infertile. This was a childish immature thing to do that will affect her entire life.
ReplyDeleteHi Cynthia!
ReplyDeleteWell, as they say, hind sight is 20/20, right? Sure, you probably could have told someone in a position to help her, but she may not have accepted the help anyway. I suspect that her relationship with her parents was no better than her relationship with you. Sadly, decisions we make when we are clueless teenagers can affect the rest of our lives. Those of us who survived those years unscathed probably owe a debt of gratitude to someone. I think the lesson here is best applied with our own children. Your 12 yr old daughter will surely benefit from your experience with your friend. There is always something to be said for the lessons we learn second hand.;) Amanda
Cynthia,
ReplyDeleteYou are an extremely brave lady! I seriously admire you having to handle such a serious situation at such a young age. It is seriously scary stuff! Had I been in your situation, I'm not sure what I would have done. Should you have told someone else? Perhaps. But at the same time, it wasn't your body and it wasn't your decision. While I think your friend made some pretty hefty mistakes, you did what you could do for her and SHE made the decision not to take your advice. That's all you could have done. Good job, girl! :)
Tristan
Cynthia,
ReplyDeleteI do identify with you on your predicament. Did you talk to her about stopping the habit of multiple sexual partners? Sometimes when you try to correct a friend, it may initially bring conflict but after serious thought, a good friend will take in the advice or be able to speak up her/his mind. I guess the idea of staying with an STD untreated for so long may have caused her the pysiological as well as the psychological problems. Unfortunately the stigma associated with STDs makes it difficult for people (especially thoise who are unmarried) to seek help. It is true the network of infection is difficult to map down because of the other partners may have had other people who got infected and they infected others. It scares me that STDs are contracted at such an early age! There is no right age to contract an STD but I guess the younger people who are infected rarely seek help and that aggravates the situation.